So, how dumb are you now?
Really. Think about it. Are you any smarter than you were say, 15 years ago? Wiser maybe, but not smarter. You're getting dumber every day. We all are, and here's why. All those "tasks" that we have to do each day, right down to brushing your teeth, require some ammount of brain power. And with every passing day, we automate something new.
Want a very small example?
McDonalds has PICTURES on its cash registers. Now, how much brain power does it take to push a freaking picture.
"Ummm.. lettuce.. thats the green stuff.. yeah.. and some tomato, those are red.."
And now they're using pictures on their menus outside so your dumb ass can order too. Apparently its easier for the customer to be hungry, see picture, say number.
And I just bet when you say "Number 5" all they have to do is press the number 5.
You know what? Lab monkeys do it every day and get treats for it. I think they've got rats doing it too, I dont know. But it sure doesnt require much thought, does it.
Nope, and thats what we want, deep down. We all want to think less, do less, and spend less time doing it.
Heres one out of left field.
Ask any soccer mom whats the greatest thing since sliced bread. She'll tell you its her power sliding door on her brand new minivan. You know, you push a button, the door opens and you can now get in and out with ease. Whew, whatd we do before that? Oh yeah, WE OPENED THE FREAKING DOOR.
But how is this making you dumber? Simple, check this out. Lets say youre going on a trip. Now you can just load your arms up beyond capacity, and as long as your little keychain is in your hand, you can open the door!! OH MY GOD, ITS SO AWESOME.
Well its not. Its not awesome. Its making you dumber by the day and the best part is that you dont even see it coming. TV has already handled that...
Before the "auto-door", you had to make a decision. Were you going to make multiple trips or were you going to set something down when you got there, and then what were you going to set down. Cant set just anything down, some things might get dirty and we cant have that. So theres a decision within a decision, GOOD BRAIN EXCERSIZE!!
But no, we want an automatic door, and pictures on our registers and menus, we have passwords like our pets names so we dont forget them, we put warnings on bottles of carbonated beverages because if you shake them and turn the cap, it might fly off. There are apparently people wounded or maimed because of flying plastic bottle caps all over the place. Cups of coffee, charcoal; propane; and electric grills, irons, and ovens all come labled as HOT!
WELL NO SHIT THEYRE HOT!!
But obviously this escaped some genius out there, and now you have to put warnings on everything including that bag of silica that came in your last new pair of shoes "Do not eat, not food". Now even if that wasnt written on the little package, when you pick it up it doesnt feel like food. And if you break the bag open, it doesnt look like anything youve ever eaten, so why would someone put this in their mouth? Have you ever just found food somewhere like that before? When was that last time you found a pop-tart in a fucking shoe box? And if you did, did you eat it?
If you ate that pop-tart, then this is aimed directly at YOU!
posted by Alucard @ 5:19 PM
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